


Sexual Cannibalism

by dacmennis



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Blood, F/M, fast and furious sex, human meat eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:43:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dacmennis/pseuds/dacmennis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Did you just fucking eat me?!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexual Cannibalism

**Author's Note:**

> Gross Chardee sex trash based on S4E1 "Mac and Dennis: Manhunters." Enjoy!

"This can't be it!" Dee cried angrily. "There's got to be something we can do. Maybe Frank has more we can steal?"  


"That was it, Dee! There was only one steak left, and we ate it!"  


"Well, well we can get more! Who's his contact, Bingo? Bingo would have some!!"  


"No, Dee, we don't have any more money! We spent it all at the butcher's!"  


The pair leapt up from their places at Dee's tiny dinette table and paced furiously around her apartment, frustrated with the uncontrollable urge for more. Charlie stomped around loudly and mumbled semi-intelligibly about the taste of human ribs and A-1 sauce.  


"There's only one thing we can do if we can't get our hands on any drugs or human meat or anything to satisfy the hunger!" Dee insisted.  


"W-what's that?"  


"We have to have sex."  


Charlie stopped in his tracks and faced Dee, gripping his hands on her upper arms to freeze her in place. "What?" He asked sharply.  


"We have to have sex! It's the only thing that'll satisfy the urges! Charlie, think about it! We've tried every meat the butcher has to offer, we chickened out with a dead person, and plus he was all DEAD and some weird disease probably lived inside him to kill him anyway! Look, you're clean, I'm clean, we have no money for coke to satisfy us and Cricket's nowhere to be found to risk his life to get us some! Charlie, we have to fuck, because we both ate human meat and traces of it may still be inside of us! So naturally, we may fulfill the urge by tasting each other!"  


Charlie's mouth hung open and he felt his cock stir under the constricting denim. "Uhhh...you sure about this? C-cause I'll, I'm down to fuck, I'll-I'll fuck you," he trailed off, eyeing her body through her thin grey cotton shirt, avoiding eye contact.  


"Yes! Charlie, you have to fuck me, it's the only other thing we can do to expend this terrible energy! We can't even sleep!"  


Charlie's mind swam with the possibilities of how he could show off for Dee, but in an instant, Dee was pulling her clothes off and had stripped down to an incredibly sexy white lace bra and panty set. She lifted up Charlie's yellow polo shirt, grateful for the realization that he had taken a shower that morning and didn't feel greasy and smelly like he usually did.  


Charlie stepped out of his pants and Dee placed his hands around her waist, leaning in to him and kissing him deeply. Charlie hummed with pleasure while he ran his fingers down Dee's delicate spine, amazed at how skinny she was, but so incredibly tough and fiery of a woman. The pair stepped backwards carefully and Dee lowered herself onto the couch, slipping out of her sheer lacy thong and pushing Charlie into a kneeling position, offering silently for him to eat her out. The head of Charlie's dick leaked precome as he went to work on Dee, tonguing and sucking on her clit, sliding his thick fingers in and out of her vagina, hooking them forward once he was in and applying pressure expertly while his mouth sucked her clit to full engorgement.  


"God damn, Char, where in the fuck did you learn to work a pussy like that?" Dee wondered aloud as Charlie worked her over, one hand lazily pumping his cock while the other kneaded at her g-spot. Dee felt a burning in the back of her throat similar to heartburn, but more insistent; the absolute need to ride Charlie's cock until he blew his cum all over her insides.  


"Get up here," Dee commanded, and switched spots with Charlie, his thick pink cock looking more appealing to her than she had ever imagined it would. True, she was sick enough to have fantasized about her own brother and even worse - Mac, when she got _really_ desperate for new material - but she never imagined that childlike, boyish little Charlie would have skill like a sex god and a hard, toned body.  


"Mmmmm," the couple moaned in unison as Dee sank Charlie inside of her, all inhibitions melting as she rode him quick and shallow, breathing in the scent of his freshly washed hair, the texture so soft like a cashmere sweater, she would have never thought of him as anything besides gross if she hadn't been fucking him here and now.  


"Ugh, baby," Charlie moaned as he lost his mind trying to concentrate on the downright nasty way that Dee was riding him. She had drawn her legs up onto the couch and was squatting on his dick, riding it like she owed him money. Charlie sank back in his seat and nearly forgot why they -- well, more _she_ \-- was worked up in the first place. He roamed his hands over her lithe body and palmed her ass, squeezing deep and affording jolts of pleasure up and down her sciatic nerves. Dee moved back into a more manageable position and bowed her head against Charlie's salty neck, took in a deep breath, and --  


"Ow, Dee!" Charlie cried as Dee bit down hard into the thick flesh between Charlie's neck and shoulder, drawing blood that tasted like iron and alcohol. She rocked up and down on his dick keeping up the rhythm as she gnawed deeper and deeper into the wound she'd created, stopping at nothing to satisfy her hunger for human meat.  


"You're actually hurting me!" Charlie whined, but it was useless to protest as Dee chewed a sizable bite of Charlie's skin, blood running in rivulets down his pale freckled chest, staining her teeth crimson and ruining her white lacy bra. She bit her teeth together over the small bit of skin she had managed to pull up, and with a great tearing of the flesh, Dee pulled hard with her teeth and ripped Charlie's skin from his body, albeit it was dime-sized piece of epidermis, she chewed the skin as feverishly as a serial murderer would after the heat of the kill.  


"Did you just fucking EAT ME?!" Charlie screamed, voice quavering with the shock of his skin torn from his body, but powerless to stop the intense orgasm building in his core. Dee swallowed the flesh and bore down on the wound again, unable to gain access to the muscle, settling for sucking Charlie's blood to satiate her impressive appetite.  


Charlie's body flushed with an impending orgasm and took a cue from Dee, sinking his teeth into the same spot she had done to him, breaking her skin and licking his tongue in wide circles over the wound, dizzyingly drunk from the foreign taste of her blood and the sensation of his thick cock slicked with her unbelievable wetness. It was unlike anything Charlie had ever experienced. It was the taste of inside another person, and while not exactly like human meat, the oxygen-rich blood was turning him up and satisfying him like never before...  


"Oh, fuck!!!" Charlie screamed as his cock exploded with cum so deep and far inside Dee that she nearly choked from the force, stifling a sobbing noise as her body constricted around Charlie, grinding on his dick and rubbing her clit desperately to milk out every little spasm she could from this ordeal. Dee kissed Charlie hard with his own blood on her tongue, an electrifying feeling shimmering through his body once again. She panted hard, unable to catch her breath, her throat raw and suffocating after the most incredible and unlikely sex of her life.  


"I-I'm sorry, I had to," Dee choked out, slipping Charlie out of her and flopping back on the couch, eyes skyward. "I had to taste you, and you know? I think I'm satisfied?" She breathed hard and rolled over to fish a bottle of water off of her coffee table, washing Charlie's blood down her throat with a refreshing coolness.  


Speechless, Charlie sat gasping for breath himself, spent harder than he had ever been in his life. His heart pounded and he stood up from the couch, sticky with sweat and blood and Dee's sweet sex fluids clinging to his dick.  


"I'll be back," Charlie said, fetching a towel from the bathroom and redressing. Dee came to her senses again and slipped back into her thong and pants. Charlie padded into the living room in bare feet, producing a first aid kit from her medicine cabinet. "I guess we need to clean up."  


"I guess so," Dee laughed. "How's your hunger? Did that do it for you?"  


Charlie gazed off to the side. "Uhhh, _yeah_ , Dee, to say the least. Now don't tell anyone, and let me see your neck."  



End file.
